I can only survive in silence

I can see what I’m doing

A good day is only when your happy

A roll of the dice is for you

I know why this is the case

It’s learned behavior from home

Something I had to do in childhood

And failed in adolescence

She could never be pleased.

She shied away from living

A whole existence wasted

Her tentacles trying to taint me

Only she could take a blank canvas

And cramp it with negativity and fear

Wrapping it in a paper she called love

I spent too long frightened alone in fear

You rise from the ashes and try

To change the narrative

To hurriedly oversee your own blank canvasses

Filling them with positivity and true love

Life is cruel enough without parent sabotage

We have always known they fuck you up

But I have to question why they have kids?

If you can’t love them look out for them.

Being a constant disappointment is exhausting

And I scream fuck fuck fuck fuck off!!!